Babywearing 103: Carriers

Carriers are structured baby-wearing contraptions.

Pros: The structure of a good carrier balances baby's weight over mama's hips and shoulders, so mama can wear baby comfortably for long stretches of time (hours and hours at a time). The structure of a good carrier places baby in a natural seated position, so that baby's spine and hips are not compressed. (Baby's bum is naturally lower than his knees when in this position.) A good carrier leaves mama completely hands-free, even when baby is nursing. A good carrier provides support (often a hood) to prevent baby's head from bobbing or jerking while asleep. Baby fits comfortably in most carriers from the newborn stage through toddlerhood (and beyond). Carriers are adjustable so that one size fits all adults. Many carriers come with instructional DVDs, which make learning how to use the carrier easy.

Cons: Carriers are more expensive than slings or wraps. Some carriers are only designed for baby to be facing in, not out. Some modern carriers are not designed for babies under four months (when they cannot hold their head up on their own). You can usually buy an "infant insert" for use during the early months, but these inserts aren't consistently easy to use.

Note: The popular Baby Bjorn and other similarly styled carriers do not provide most of the benefits listed above and are actually bad for mama's back, baby's back, baby's hips, and baby's genital area. When purchasing a carrier, it is important to make sure the carrier is structured so that baby is sitting in the carrier (not dangling unsupported), such that baby's bum is lower than baby's knees.

Variations: The waist band and shoulder straps of modern carriers connect with buckles. The waist band and shoulder straps of Asian back carriers connect with tied sashes.

Recommendations: For a modern carrier, the Ergo Baby Carrier (aptly named because it is designed to be ergonomically correct) consistently rates higher than all other carriers. For a less gear-like look, try the Beco Baby Carrier, which is currently rated second highest on www.DiaperPin.com. For an Asian back carrier, try the Kozy Carrier. The Ergo can be worn on the front (facing in), on the hip, and on the back. The Beco can be worn on the front (facing in) and on the back. The Kozy can be worn on the front (facing in and facing out), on the hip, and on the back.

I wore my baby in an Ergo Baby Carrier on and off from the time my baby was about six weeks old until. From birth until about 10 months, we used the Moby Wrap as our go-to carrier. But at 10 months I switched to the Ergo because my baby was gaining weight rapidly and I felt the Ergo provided the best support for my back. To be honest, my baby disliked the Ergo for the first week or two of constant usage because he was used to being worn facing out. But he soon adjusted and loves it now. In fact, I think he has said the word "Ergo" this week more than any other word!

Front Carry

(Kozy Carrier)


(Beco Baby Carrier)

Side Carry

(Ergo Baby Carrier)


(Kozy Carrier)

Back Carry

(Ergo Baby Carrier)


(Beco Baby Carrier)

Two Babies at the Same Time

(Kozy Carrier)

Babywearing 102: Wraps

Wraps are basically long pieces of fabric wrapped intricately around your body. The sight of 6 yards of cloth piled in your hands may at first be intimidating, but don't despair! With just a little practice you can master this superbly comfortable way of wearing your baby. First, practice wrapping and tying the cloth around your body. Once you've got that down pat, practice placing a stuffed animal or rolled up bath towel into the wrap. After you feel semi-comfortable doing that, place your baby into the wrap. While it is more difficult to learn than other ways of carrying your baby, it is well worth the effort! The Moby Wrap quickly became our favorite carrier and faithfully served as our go-to carrier for my baby's first 10 months of life outside the womb.

Wraps are unbelievably comfortable for both mama and baby. Baby's weight is evenly distributed across both of mama's shoulders and her back, giving mama hours of comfortable baby-wearing time. The fabric is more comfy than a favorite t-shirt and hugs mama and baby perfectly, regardless of size or shape. And wraps are also fantastic nursing covers. If mama is wearing the wrap (empty) and nursing her baby in her arms, the folds of the wrap naturally fall to cover baby's head and mama's entire chest area.

Wraps are especially beneficial for premature babies and babies with breastfeeding challenges. Both groups of babies need lots of skin-to-skin contact and "kangaroo care" is an easy way to provide that contact for long stretches of time (hands free). Mama takes off baby's clothes (except perhaps a diaper) and places baby into a wrap directly on her bare chest - the wrap covers mama's torso, so a casual observer would never suspect she was not wearing a shirt. Skin-to-skin touch regulates baby's heart rate, blood pressure, stress hormones, and body temperature. Mama's chest temperature actually changes to meet her baby's needs, and research shows that kangaroo care is more effective at keeping baby warm than a traditional preemie incubator!

The downside to wraps is the time it takes to put them on. A mama can partially compensate for this by putting the wrap on when she first needs it and leaving it on throughout the day (whether or not baby is in the wrap).

For a comfortable fit and no back strain, baby's bum should hit at or just above mama's belly button. And baby's bum should always, always, always be lower than baby's knees. This protects baby's spine, genital area, and hip alignment.

Click here to watch a great video demonstating how to wrap a Moby Wrap around your body and place your baby in the wrap in the hug hold.

Click on the pictures below to see step-by-step instructions for each of these holds. Of course, this is just a sampling of the great variety of ways you can wear your baby in a wrap. Next on our agenda is figuring out the hike hold on my back.

Cradle Hold


Twin Cradle Hold


Newborn Hug Hold


Hug Hold


Lotus Hold


Sling Hold


Baby K'Tan
The Baby K'Tan is like a wrap without the wrapping. It takes only 5-7 seconds to put on, so is a great alternative to a sling for easy, around-the-house wear. Because baby's weight is distributed on mama's shoulders and back, it is also great for short jaunts out and about. However, it's not as comfortable as a regular wrap for long stretches of time.

Babywearing 101: Slings

Slings are basically strips or tubes of fabric worn over one shoulder and down to the opposite hip. Slings' best selling point is their ease of use: mama only needs about 2-5 seconds to put one on. They are fairly compact, so mama can easily stash one in an otherwise full diaper bag. And many sling styles have built-in pockets that fit a set of keys and small wallet, or even a diaper, for baby wearing on the go. On the downside, slings can become uncomfortable when wearing baby for a long stretch of time. And while bending down or actively working around the house, mama may need to lightly support baby with one hand, rendering the sling not entirely hands-free. Because most slings come in different sizes for different sized adults, mama may not be able to share her sling with another adult.

Because slings are so quick and easy to use, I like to wear my baby in a sling for short periods of time around the house. For a comfortable fit and no back strain, a sling should feel snug (almost as if it might be just a tad too small) and baby's bum should hit at or just above mama's belly button. Virtually all retailers have helpful sizing information, detailed wearing instructions, and great return policies. What works for one mama may not work the same for another mama - it's helpful and a lot of fun to buy a variety of baby carriers, try each one, then keep the one(s) you love the best.

Last, but perhaps most important, baby's bum should always, always, always be lower than baby's knees. This protects baby's spine, genital area, and hip alignment.

Types of slings

Basic pouch sling

(Cute Slings Baby Sling in the Cradle Carry position)
Pros: No adjustments necessary. Folds up tiny for stashing just about anywhere.
Cons: Cannot be adjusted, so some mamas may have trouble getting a perfect fit.
Variations: no padding vs. light padding (just where a toddler's legs hang)
Good brands: For a sling with no padding, try a New Native Baby Carrier. For a sling with light padding, try a Cute Slings Baby Sling.

Adjustable pouch sling

(Kangaroo Corner Adjustable Fleece Pouch in the Tummy to Tummy position)
Pros: Size is adjustable to accommodate weight loss/gain or clothing layers.
Cons: The snap or zipper adds just enough bulk that it is tough for narrow-shouldered adults to make the adjustments necessary to prevent the sling from sliding down the shoulder.
Good brands: My friend Ginny loves the Kangaroo Korner Adjustable Fleece Pouch! They also carry other fabric types, including a mesh pouch for water use.

Ring sling

(Zolowear Ring Sling in the Tummy to Tummy position)
Pros: Size is adjustable to accommodate weight loss/gain or clothing layers. The long tail can serve as a built-in nursing cover.
Cons: Because there is a limit on how much padding can fit through a ring, extra small women may not be able to completely tighten a fully padded sling.
Variations: no padding vs. light padding vs. full padding (along the edge of the fabric)
Good brands: For a sling with no padding, try a Zolowear Ring Sling. For a sling with light padding, try a Maya Wrap Lightly Padded Sling. For a sling with full padding, try the Balboa Baby Adjustable Sling.

Sling positions

Cradle carry - Baby is inside the pouch, cradled in the fetal position. This is a great position for newborns.

(New Native Baby Carrier)

Tummy to tummy - Baby is inside the pouch, upright and facing mama. This is a great position for babies of all ages, but especially newborns who prefer being upright (not horizontal).

(Zolowear Ring Sling)

Kangaroo carry - Baby is inside the pouch, upright and facing out. This is a great position for babies who can hold their heads up.

(Maya Wrap Lightly Padded Sling)

Hip carry - Baby is straddling mama's hip and the sling fabric forms a seat under his bum, holding baby tight enough to mama's body that she can be hands free. This is my favorite position for toddlers.

(Cute Slings Baby Sling)

Back carry - Baby is straddling mama's back and the sling fabric forms a seat under his bum, holding baby tight enough to mama's body that she can be hands free. This is a great position for toddlers, but is also a popular position for newborns in African cultures.

(Kangaroo Korner Adjustable Fleece Pouch)

Why I Wear My Baby Part 2

A baby spends the first nine months of his life inside his mama. Giving baby another nine months outside (but on) mama is a gentle way to introduce him to life outside the womb.

Baby hears mama's heartbeat, feels safe and nurtured, easily develops a strong emotional bond and secure attachment to mama, has a bird's eye view of the world, interacts with others in mama's surroundings, and enjoys an increased amount of quiet alert time. According to the famous pediatrician Dr. Sears, "sling babies" cry less, learn more, are more organized, get "humanized" earlier, and are smarter than non-sling babies.

On the flip side, mama is inherently more available and responsive to baby, and can carry baby comfortably and hands-free. Mama can cook, clean, do laundry, go grocery shopping, take a walk, care for other children, nurse discreetly, and on, and on, and on, all while wearing baby. Baby wearing is especially helpful for mamas of high needs babies (babies who have a greater than normal need to be held and nurse - often virtually nonstop).

My baby is now 18 months and I still wear him throughout the day - when he wants to see what I'm doing in the kitchen, when I want to take a walk or go hiking, when he needs a little extra calm cuddle time, when we're in an area that's not safe for babies, when I think he's getting sleepy... ... ... In fact, his newest word this week is Ergo!

Why I Wear My Baby Part 1

I read this article by Serene Allison before I was pregnant, and it revolutionized the way I viewed motherhood. It was originally printed in the November 2005 edition of Above Rubies. (You can find other great articles at www.AboveRubies.org.)

Plastic or Natural?

"So you're almost about to pop! Do you have everything you need for the new arrival?" a sweet lady asked a day before my due date. I'll have to admit I did not have a beautifully painted nursery, a lovely wooden crib with matching bedding that harmonized with the pastel of the walls and curtains. I had no perfectly folded piles of blue or pink layettes and outfits. I didn't have a cloet full of baby paraphernalia... walker, swing, bouncer and playpen. I didn't have a set of baby monitors, a package of pacifiers, or the latest vented bottles in case of supplemented feedings. I had a couple of yellow onesies and a pair or two of yellow socks. So what did I repl to the earnest soul who looked so eager to help out. Yes, I've got everything I need!"

"What?" you may shriek! "You've got nothing!" "Why didn't you drop a few hints her way and snag some of these necessities. You're not prepared at all!"

Raw and Unadulterated

You see, I didn't need all that fad-dangled cluttering stuff that complexifies my mothering. I had everything I needed to nurture my sweet babe through its early childhood. I already owned the top of the line designer baby equipment. God designed my body with what I needed to nurture my baby while on the inside and He also designed it to have everything I needed to mother on the outside.

God gave me breasts, comfy pillows which are not only baby's favorite nest but which bring complete satisfaction to his every sucking need. Breastfeeding goes far beyond its main function of filling their little tummies with warm nutritious sweet milk of perfection. There is no need for me to worry about pacifiers that are always getting lost or bottles you have to fill, warm, clean and sterilize. Why would I want this bothersome stuff?

He gave me, as a woman, a tender voice my baby has grown to love. No need for lullaby tapes and musical toys or teddy bears with recorded heart beats - all dust catchers! I love to watch my baby, as he nurses at my breast, be calmed and sedated by the sound of what is most beautiful to him. As I sing to this captivated audience of one, his eyes begin to roll back and his lids grow heavy. As I continue to hum, the warm breath that carries his favorite tune blows a gentle breeze of love across his sleepy face. These are the joys of motherhood ... raw and unadulterated ... uncluttered by plastic mechanical objects that can never come close to what a baby really wants.

Mothers Are God's Perfect Design

Swings and things that chime and vibrate with colored flashing lights and recorded tunes are man's design. Mothers are God's perfect design for the job. I am not saying that these things are all bad and that a mother can't benefit from popping the baby in a contraption so she can go to the toilet by herself, take a shower or fix dinner, but they are not the necessities our modern world has made them out to be. They should never take the place of mother.

The sad fact is there is now an imbalance of "thing mothering" rather than "human mothering". There is nothing wrong with a few inventions to assist us. The problem is when we let them replace us!

This brings me to my next point. God created us with arms and hands with dexterous ability. He designed them to be used. Proverbs 31:17 tells us that the virtuous woman "strengthens her arms." God does not want us to let our arms get fat and floppy. Let's bench press that baby and get a good workout and a few giggles and goo-gahs to boot!

Plastic Mothering or Human Mothering

I have seen some babies who are hardly ever out of a plastic contraption. It's so sad. I call it plastic mothering. They get wheeled around in a stroller, plopped in a plastic swing and then into a car seat from which they are hardly removed except for a diaper change. Mothers are more often seen lugging cumbersome car seats around with their babies inside instead of simply holding them skin to skin. Some are even fed their bottle in their car seat. They bring their car seats inside everywhere they go. They are no longer car seats but "everywhere seats."

Babies are happiest being worn on your body. I say "worn" because I believe my baby is the most beautiful part of my appearance. I hate being out in town or in church without my gorgeous chubster beaming a huge smile from within the security of my arms.

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a way to wear your baby but still be free to be the "mummy on the go" - to run (I mean literally) after a bunch of rowdy children, get a toddler out of a tree, go grocery shopping, or even speed walk four miles up and down hills, all the while wearing your baby snugly and comfortably next to your heart. Imagine if there was an invention that made carrying a toddler feel like a featherweight, even for extended hours of "baby wearing." Or, nurse a fussy babe, even while shopping, with discreet coverage and arms completely free.

Wouldn't it be nice if there were such an invention to prevent my shoulders and back from screaming out for mercy after an hour of wearing my baby like most carriers? It would be perfection if there was such an invention that could be used from birth to late toddler hood - front, back, sideways or whichever way I fancied.

Well, I've found it. Christmas has come for all mothers who love to "wear" their baby but have tried the slings, back packs, front packs and ordered many fad-dangled baby carriers that down-right hurt and give you a headache.

Personally, I am an avid baby wearer. I collect slings and baby carriers from around the world and have tried the whole gamut. I have used the many yards of material that you fold in strange configurations and wrap you and your baby up like mummies. I've owned an excellent hiking backpack, with a very light alloy frame, but the baby wasn't close to my skin. I couldn't nurse the baby and I had to wear a beanie on my head in the middle of summer as the baby sat high enough to pull my hair out in tufts.

Slings are wonderful and I was somewhat content with a very top brand a friend bestowed upon me. Yes, I still had some troubleshooting. My shoulder and upper back ached fiercely after an hour and I still wasn't hands free. I had to support my baby when I bent down to dress a toddler or load the washing machine. It grew very painful on strenuous exercise walks but it was all I knew. I didn't complain and enjoyed wearing my baby...UNTIL I discovered the "Ergo" (named appropriately because it is designed to be ergonomically correct for you and your baby's back and chiropractic recommended.)

Pot of Gold

ALL MY CHRISTMASES CAME AT ONCE! I can now wear my baby on a four mile hike, come home and clean the house, vacuum, reach high and low, do all the laundry, dance around the lounge with my little ones, go picking blueberries or hunt for insects with my boys, cook (or uncook) dinner and do the dishes. I can nurse free-handed and keep on trucking, even go to the restroom, all while wearing my baby in the Ergo. My back and shoulders don't need a rest and I can forget I even have the baby. 

Attachment style mothering has now become as easy as toting around a feather.

My sister-in-law is petite in stature but has a huge heifer of a baby. We call him "Harry Hamhock" as his thighs are good 'n meaty. He didn't like her to put him down and I could see her tired arms at the end of the day. I told her about the Ergo and she is now as happy as her sweet baby. She wears him all day and never grows tired.

My sister, Pearl always fretted when taking her baby to the grocery store, as she would suck on the rail of the shopping cart, the worst place for babies, toddlers and children to pick up germs. Her baby often brought a cold home from the store with her. 

Slings make you want to scream by the end of a long grocery trip and you still are not completely hands free to fill your cart and keep toddlers in tow. Pearl always dreaded grocery day until the Ergo.

It sounds too good to be true. I did not believe it until I tried it for myself. In my search for the best baby carrier, worldwide, I always felt a little dissatisfied. My husband would say, as I begged him into buying yet another sling or carrier, that I wouldn't be content until it felt like I was carrying a feather and not a baby. He thought my search would never be through. But I have found my pot of gold and I am finally satisfied.

So, when that sweet lady asked me, "Are you prepared?" and by the world's standards I was not so, I could reply with a resounding and confident ...

"Yes, I've got my set of milkers and an Ergo - and that's all I need!"

Serene Allison

Primm Springs, Tennessee

Mamatoto

People often tell me, "I bet you can't wait until your baby is old enough for school, then you'll have some time to yourself." Actually, they're wrong. I often feel nobody understands what I am doing or why I am doing it. But nobody really needs to understand my life or even like it. I am responsible to God alone for how I raise my child. This article by Evangeline Johnson, printed in the November 2005 edition of Above Rubies, always encourages me to keep a godly perspective of motherhood. (You can find other great articles at www.AboveRubies.org.)


Friends With Who?

Are you amused by printed warnings that are apparently obvious? Warnings like "Do not put fingers in food processor" or the one I saw on the side of a septic tank, "No swimming allowed." Well, lo and behold, to add to the collection, I found one in the Bible. I laughed right out loud before I could help it.

It is in Titus 2, the famous passage where we are told to love our children. Have you ever stopped to think about that? Of course, all mothers love their children! Why tell them to do something they already do? Barring a few twisted women, all mothers would die for their children. What an obvious thing to write.

I thought I had better investigate. I found that the Greek word for love in this verse is philoteknos which literally means "to be a friend to your children." Her's the crutch. It's easy to love, but are we their friend?

The human heart cries out for friendship and God designs it to be met by... not the TV, not the dog... but the mother. The mother is God's first display of friendship to the world. Why? So our children will know how to be friends with God and friends to the people around them. By doing this, we either make or break society. We literally affect our whole culture. Instead of being a redundant statement in the Bible, it is one of the most important!

Friendship, at its most basic level, is hard to come by in today's families. Yet it is the highest cry of the human heart. What do friends do? They want to hang out together. But what do we see today? Children hanging out with TV... children hanging out with anything or anyone but their mother. Statistics reveal that over 50 percent of children less than two years of age have a TV in their bedroom!

The latest figures, via internet, show that in the last 30 years the average time parents spend with their children has dropped by 40 percent. This tells me that friendship has literally been shipped out the door. Our lives have become too busy!

Webster's Dictionary defines friendship three ways:

1.One who is attached to another by affection, which leads him to desire his company.
Are we attached or detached? My friend has a saying, "Wherever you are, be there!" We can easily miss the relationships we have right now by not embracing the present. Do we desire the company of our children or are we tolerating them until bedtime?

You may say, "Look, lady, "I'm around them all the frantic day. What do you want from me?"

What I propose is to "hang out" with your children, just like best friends, for one week! Lay down the phone from all your other friends and acquaintances and symbolically get on the phone to your children! Include them in whatever you are doing.

Boswell, the famous biographer of Samuel Johnson wrote about the best day of his life. It occurred one day when his dad went fishing with him. Boswell said that day changed his life forever. The rest of childhood was a blur, but that day..."that day my Dad was a friend to me and I learned what life was about through example." Some historian decided to track down the diary of Boswell's father to see how he reflected on the most important day of his famous son's life. The entry read, "Went fishing today - a whole day wasted!"

A lot of mothers think they are wasting their time. No, you are not! "But I'm cleaning my house, shining my tea pot." Many mothers are more of a friend to their house than their children. Yes, we must keep house, but you will notice that is further down the list in Titus 2 than loving your children. God always puts things in order of importance.

When we were first married my husband said, "We will include our children in everything we do. If we can't we won't do it!" Consequently, our children have gone to a lot of things other children have never gone to, and we have not gone to a lot of things that we could have gone to. Our children have learned to sleep anywhere and behave well. Remember the Word does not say to make friends with the church functions but with out children.

2.A companion who is kind, promoting the good of the other.

Friendhsip comes before discipline and order. Before you freak, let me explain. I am a firm believer in complete obedience. That goes without saying! However, it is far better to have friendship, than everything perfect with no relationship. That is dead meat!

Some belive that to be "buddy, buddy" with you child destroys order. Wrong. Do I propose they should start calling me by my first name? No. Respect is a must! Respect and obedience must come out of trusted friendship. They will then realize that discipline comes out of desiring to see the best for them. Discipline without relatinoship breeds rejection, which is the seedbed of rebellion. You may be able to enforce external compliance, but without friendship there is no real heart change. They might be sitting down on the outside, but they will still be standing up on the inside. Submission is a heart issue. No child on earth submits his heart willingly without the love of frienship.

3.Having a favorable opinion of them, noble opinion from a pure source.

Some friends tear each other down like it's their favorite thing to do. True friendships encourage each other - daily! Everybody yearns to be validated, worth-while and encouraged. I grew up on it. If children don't get it in the family, they will look for it somewhere else.

I have often thought that it would be great if every person could have their own funeral service before they die! I long for people to hear the beautiful words people say about them at their funerals, words they should have heard while they were alive. If only they knew how much they were loved, how talented they were, how beautiful they were etc. Let's not wait. Children long for encouragement and friendship from their mother.

There is a level of trust in friendship that can be damaged by the following:

1. Outbursts of anger. And, on the flip side, the silent tratment. If anything kills friendship, it is these two. They are like a bad smell. We can put nice perfume on when we go out, but what if our children are getting stink bombs at home? Do not use your children as your emotional toxic waste dumps. Treat them like friends.
2. Betrayed confidences. There is nothing worse than a child overhearing their mother talk badly about them to another person, even their father. It takes the very stuffing right out of them, then and there. Do not label your children, deal with them!
3. Favoritism. This is extremely destructive. If your friend treats another better than you, it sours your friendship pretty fast. It is the same with your children.

Remember the obvious, "Don't use your hair dryer while you are in the shower and do be a friend to your children."

Your friend Vangi!

Evangeline Johnson
Primm Springs, Tennessee
Howard and Evangeline's 10 children are Zadok, Sharar, Rashida, Crusoe, Jireh, Arrow, Tiveria, Sahara, Iqara, and Saber Truth.

Responsive Breastfeeding Part 3

A few final thoughts on why I practice responsive breastfeeding:

• Sometimes I'm parched and drink a quart of water in a few gulps; sometimes I take tiny sips over the course of a few hours. I don't drink water on a schedule, so why should I make my baby drink on a schedule?
• Sometimes I'm hungry an hour after eating a big meal; sometimes I'm not hungry for hours. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night ravenous; sometimes I don't feel hungry when I wake up in the morning. Sometimes I eat a lot; sometimes I eat a little. I don't eat my meals and snacks on a schedule, so why should I make my baby eat his meals and snacks on a schedule?
• Friends and family don't give me hugs and words of comfort on a schedule. God doesn't comfort me on a schedule. So why should I provide my baby with the ultimate means of comfort on a schedule?

Responsive Breastfeeding Part 2

I love this article written by Nancy Campbell. It is reprinted here with permission from Above Rubies. (You can find other great articles at www.AboveRubies.org.)


Why does my baby want to suck all the time?

I was full of great intentions as I set out to nurse my first baby—well over forty years ago! My mother was by my side to encourage me in the way she thought best—to feed my baby on a four-hourly schedule. But sadly, this way brought me heartache and frustration. Every time my baby woke before the four hours were up, I paced the floor in agony waiting to feed him. My heart ached while my baby cried. I was a desperate mother. And I ran out of milk! With such a little amount of sucking, there was no way to keep up a good milk supply. By the time my baby was three months, I was well on the way to weaning, plus feeding him as many solids as I could to fill him up. I felt a failure!

I still did not understand what was happening and thought I just didn’t have enough milk supply to feed a baby. Our next babies were twins and I nursed them for eight months. I could easily have nursed them longer, but weaned because we had to travel to a family wedding. It is sad to think about it now. I confess with great grief in my heart that although I loved my precious babies with all my heart, I realize now that because of my ignorance, they were not mothered sufficiently. They expressed this by self mothering. The two boys sucked their thumbs and my precious little girl sucked her bottom lip. They did this because they did not get their sucking satisfaction from me, their mother. As they grew into childhood, they banged their heads on their pillows or against the bed head to go to sleep.

All babies are born with a great sucking need. If this need is not met, it will show itself in some way in the child, if not when they are little, when they are older. Many mothers satisfy this need by using a pacifier. But God intended the mother to meet this need. A pacifier is a mother substitute.

God designed a mother to meet the total needs of her baby through the breast. This cannot be done through scheduled feeding. My mother nursed me for nearly a year on schedule (I was one of the few babies that kept nursing that long without my mother running out of milk) but because she did not satisfy my sucking need, I sucked my thumb. In fact, it was such a need in my life that I didn’t stop sucking my thumb until I was a teenager!

It was not until my fourth baby that I was forced to make a change in my way of mothering. This baby was born screaming and screamed all night and every night. Some babies are born with a greater need for comfort, assurance and sucking than others. He was one of them. He would not have survived physically or emotionally on continued scheduling. I desperately began to research and realized that it was the sucking stimulation of the baby on the breast that produced the milk supply and that if I let him nurse as much as he wanted, I would have plenty of milk

But that was only part of the solution. His needs were greater than physical! I found to my delight, that as I nursed him freely and as much as he needed me, he became peaceful and contented. I even took him to bed with me (which I had been told was taboo, and that I would either roll on him or he would be totally spoilt!). Taking him to bed with me and letting him nurse as he wanted in the night was the answer to all my problems! This change in mothering style set me free! Instead of being frustrated, mothering became a breeze. Whenever my baby was fretful, I didn’t worry about what to do. I put him to the breast. I enjoyed motherhood with new delight.

But now I was in a dilemma! I was enjoying life, but the old wives’ tales haunted me. I certainly wanted to do it God’s way. I cried out to God for direction. He was faithful and revealed His truth to me through Isaiah 66:10-13. In this passage God likens Jerusalem to a nursing mother. As we read the passage we see God's plan for nursing mothers. We do not even see the word ‘food’ mentioned. Instead it talks about satisfying, consoling, delighting and comforting. The revelation hit me. Nursing is not an alternative method to bottle feeding. It is total mothering! It is ministering to the total needs of the baby, whether it is for hunger or emotional security.

This “freeing” way of mothering blesses mother and baby. Not only does the mother meet the needs of her baby through sucking, but God provides natural contraception. It takes a lot more sucking than scheduled feeding provides to hold back ovulation.

We are in a time of restoration. God is restoring us back to His ways for family. Many families have been, and are continuing to be convicted of their selfishness of stopping the children God wants them to have. They are returning to God’s heart and His desire to fill this earth with the godly seed. However, in coming back to God’s way, we cannot come back in only one area. We must come back in all areas of understanding. When we get the revelation of trusting God for our family size and yielding our fertility to Him, we need to do it His way. If we continue to schedule the feeding of babies, menstruation will return early and therefore the possibility to conceive. It can be overwhelming for a mother to conceive a baby every year.

I do not believe that this God’s ultimate plan. He has provided natural contraception for mothers through the continual sucking of the baby. Studies prove that mothers who nurse this way will have their babies about every two years. Some may commence menstruation at six months, but others not for two and a half years. The average is 14.6 months. The spacing is even longer in more primitive societies who freely nurse their babies day and night.

I will concede that it takes time to learn to totally mother. Many first-time mothers are not ready for this because they have been conditioned to selfishness and to always meet their own needs first. I was like this when I first started out, but gently God taught me and with each baby I learned to give more freely to my baby and forget my own needs. My fourth baby led me into this beautiful way of mothering. I gave more with my fifth baby who weaned at three and three-quarter years. I gave even more freely with my sixth baby who weaned at four years. Nursing this way did not hinder me from ministering to the rest of my family. It enabled me to mother them more fully too. I was still able to minister to the needs of many people as a pastor’s wife, open our home in continuous hospitality and commence the ministry of Above Rubies which touches the lives of hundreds of thousands of women in over 100 countries of the world.

My last three babies had no need of self mothering. They did not suck their thumbs, fingers or use pacifiers. They did not need cuddly blankets or any mother substitute. They were totally satisfied at the breast. I know that my fourth baby, who as my learning baby into this new way of life, was saved from much heartache. I know he would have been a very difficult child to handle if I had not learned to meet his deep emotional needs in those early years of nursing.

Many may still rebel at giving themselves so freely. “What about time for me and my own interests?” they cry. God’s principle of “losing oneself” applies in every area of life, including motherhood. Jesus said, “He that loves his life shall lose it; and he that hates his life in this world shall keep pit unto life eternal.” (John 8:25) You will never lose by losing your own life for someone else’s. You will only lose by keeping it to yourself. Many mothers think that it is their right to have a night’s sleep and that they should not have to feed their little babies at night. But what is a little sacrifice when you are doing the most important task in the nation? Sacrifice can be expected when you are involved in a career that has such far reaching influence. You are nurturing a child who is eternal and will live forever.

May God lead you into His perfect will and into the liberating joy of nurturing your baby that God has wondrously designed for you.

Nancy Campbell
Above Rubies
Primm Springs, Tennessee

Responsive Breastfeeding Part 1

God created the means for mamas to naturally obtain a temporary period of infertility after the birth of a child: responsive breastfeeding. The hormone prolactin not only tells mama's body to make milk, it also suppresses ovulation. This allows mama's body to focus on nourishing baby before getting pregnant again (and then needing to nourish an even smaller baby in the womb). Because prolactin clears quickly from the blood, the key to keeping prolactin levels high (both for a good milk supply and for suppressing ovulation) is to nurse frequently - at least every 2-3 hours during the day and 4-5 hours during the night. As prolactin is the most concentrated between 1:00 and 6:00 in the morning, middle of the night nursing sessions are incredibly beneficial. In order to gain the maximum benefit from this natural contraceptive, mama must practice responsive breastfeeding:

• Respond to baby's cues by nursing whenever baby wants, without restrictions on frequency. (Nursing baby in a sling, wrap, or carrier is super helpful when mama is out and about or simply needs to get things done around the house!)
  
• Respond to baby's cues by nursing as long as baby wants, without restrictions on duration.
• Respond to baby's cues by nursing in the middle of the night, without restrictions. (This is a piece of cake if mama and baby sleep in the same bed together!)
• Respond to baby's cues by allowing baby to meet all his sucking needs at the breast. Use the breast for comfort instead of a pacifier, and use the breast for nutrition and hydration instead of a bottle. Do not supplement with water or other liquids during baby's first year, and introduce solid food no earlier than six months. Between 6 months and 1 year, baby should get at least 75% of his nutrition through breast milk - food should not replace breast milk, but rather should be in addition to breast milk as baby's caloric needs increase. Between 1 year and 2 years, baby should get at least 25% of his nutrition through breast milk.

Mamas who practice responsive breastfeeding are period-free for an average of 14 1/2 months. My baby is 15 1/2 months and I started my period today for the first time in almost 25 months!

Furthermore, responsive breastfeeding is 98% effective at preventing conception in the first 6 months after baby is born. This is as effective, if not more effective, than artificial birth control methods.

Cloth Diapering 201: How-To

1. DECIDE HOW OFTEN YOU WANT TO WASH.
Babies go through about 12 diapers per day and 3-4 covers per day. (However, if using wool covers baby will only need 4 covers total.) When deciding how many diapers and covers to buy, take into account how often you want to wash and buy an extra half day's worth of diapers so you don't run out. (If you want to wash every day, buy 18 diapers; if you want to wash every other day, buy 30 diapers; if you want to wash every three days, buy 42 diapers.) Always wash at least every three days.

2. DECIDE WHAT TYPES OF DIAPERS AND COVERS YOU WANT TO BUY.
(See Cloth Diapering 101: Types of Diapers.) I use wool covers with my fitted diapers and polyester diapers with my contour and prefold diapers.

3. DECIDE WHAT TYPES OF ACCESSORIES YOU WANT TO BUY.

• Diaper pail liners: Buy two diaper pail liners. I recommend Swaddlebees/Blueberry liners because they are sized larger than average, can be hung from a door knob, and wash well. I purchased my liners online at www.JilliansDrawers.com.
• Wet bags: Buy one or two wet bags to put dirty diapers in while out and about. (Keep in your diaperbag.) I recommend LoveyBums wet bags for short trips out, and large Planet Wise bags for long trips out. I purchased my LoveyBums bag online at www.LoveyBums.com; I purchased my Planet Wise bag online at at www.NickisDiapers.com.
• Cloth wipes: If you want to use cloth wipes, buy or make about 45 wipes and mix up a good wipe solution. I purchased flannel wipes at www.NickisDiapers.com. The best wipe solution recipe I have tried calls for combining 3 3/4 cup water, 8 drops grapefruit seed extract, 5 drops lavender essential oil, 3 drops tea tree essential oil, 2 tablespoons olive oil, and 1 tablespoon baby soap. Some mamas keep wipe solution in a bowl and dunk a wipe into the solution to use on baby. Other mamas keep wipe solution in a squeeze container and squeeze some solution onto a wipe to use on baby. I keep a large squeeze bottle at home, a medium squeeze bottle at the office, and a small squeeze bottle in my diaper bag.

3. BUY YOUR DIAPERS, COVERS, AND ACCESSORIES.

4. WASH PRIOR TO FIRST USE.
Your order will come with pre-use washing instructions. In summary:

• Wash (in hot water) and dry unbleached prefold diapers 5-6 times.
• Wash and dry bleached prefold diapers, contour diapers, and fitted diapers 3-4 times.
• Wash and dry all-in-one diapers and pocket diapers 1-2 times.
• Wash and dry polyester covers 1 time.
• Wash and lanolize wool covers 1 time.

5. WASH AFTER USE.
Your order will come with washing instructions. In summary:

• Place diaper pail liner in diaper pail or any indoor garbage can, or hang over doorknob.
• Place soiled diaper in diaper pail liner. Do not soak in liquid. (If baby only eats and drinks breast milk, you do not need to remove poop, as it dissolves fine in the washing machine. But if baby eats or drinks anything other than breast milk, first shake poop into toilet. This is not as gross as it sounds.)
• Wash diapers in cold water with a SMALL amount of detergent (no more than half what you would normally use) and a few drops of tea tree essential oil (a natural anti-fungal and anti-bacterial).
• Rinse diapers an extra time in hot water with some vinegar (a natural fabric softener that also helps prevent detergent build-up, which affects a diaper's absorbency).
• Dry diapers. Do not use fabric softener.

Wash polyester covers with diapers. Wash diaper pail liners every couple days with diapers.

To wash and lanolize wool covers:

• As necessary, spot clean covers. Use a Sudz'N'Dudz wool wash bar to clean leaky poop and food stains. Wash bars can be purchased online at www.TheNaturalBabyCo.com.
• Every 1-2 weeks, wash covers. Add a small amount of Eucalan No-Rinse Wool Wash to a sink full of slightly warm water, add wool cover, soak for 15 minutes minimum, roll in a towel to remove excess water, then hang dry. Do not rinse. Do not use commerical wool detergent like Woollite. Wool wash can be purchased online at www.NickysDiapers.com.
• Every month, lanolize covers. Add a pea-size amount of Sudz'N'Dudz Pure Liquid Lanolin to a small jar containing a few ounces of hot water, shake well until lanolin is completely dissolved, add lanolin water to a sink full of slightly warm water, add wool cover, soak for 15 minutes minumum, roll in a towel to remove excess water, then hang dry. Do not rinse. I do not recommend using Lansinoh Lanolin, as it is very difficult to dissolve. Liquid lanolin can be purchased online at www.TheNaturalBabyCo.com.
  

Cloth Diapering 101: Types of Diapers

There are five basic types of diapers.

Chinese Prefold Diapers + Cover

(Bleached Chinese prefold diapers are pictured above)
Comments: This basic rectangular cloth diaper is called a "prefold" because multiple layers of cotton have been "folded" and sewn together to create an absorbent pad in the middle third of the rectangle. (The more layers sewn together, the more absorbent the diaper is.) For newborns, fold a diaper in thirds short-wise (end to end, not side to side), insert the diaper into a cover, and attach the cover to baby's bum. For bigger babies, fold a diaper in thirds long-wise (side to side to as to make a really skinny rectangle), insert the diaper into a cover, and attach the cover to baby's bum. For baby girls, instead of folding, you can twist a diaper in the middle, insert the diaper into a cover so the twist is in the crotch area, and attach the cover to baby's bum. The cover will hold the diaper in place so you do not need pins or Snappis (the modern pin-less "pin"). They come in a variety of sizes, depending on baby's size and the amount of absorbency desired.
Pros: Cheap. Trim, so fits well into a diaper bag.
Cons: Because the diaper itself doesn't have gusseting around the legs or waist, you have only one line of defense (the cover) against blow outs.
Where to buy: I purchased mine online at www.Nicki'sDiapers.com. Or for diaper service in DC, Maryland, or Virginia, try www.ModernDiaperService.com. The benefits of using a diaper service are not having to launder your own diapers and not having to buy different sizes as your baby grows. However, the extra load of diaper laundry turned out to be less burdensome for me than I expected, and it is cheaper to buy your own diapers than it is to use a diaper service.

Contour Diapers + Cover

(Kissaluvs contour diaper is pictured above)
Comments: This thick cloth is shaped to better resemble a diaper. Place a diaper in a cover, wrap the back edges ("wings") of the diaper around to the front, and attach the cover to baby's bum. Or wrap the back edges of the diaper around baby's bum to the front, hold the diaper in place with a Snappi, then attach a cover over the diaper. They come in a variety of sizes, depending on baby's size.
Pros: No folding required.
Cons: Just as bulky as fitted diapers, but without the gusseting or snaps.
Recommended brand: Kissaluvs.
Where to buy: I purchased mine online at www.JilliansDrawers.com.

Fitted Diapers + Cover

(Swaddlebees One-size Organic Velour fitted diaper is pictured above)
Comments: This diaper-shaped diaper has gusseting around the legs and waist, and closes with a series of snaps. Snap a diaper onto baby's bum, then attach a cover over diaper. This turned out to be my favorite diapering combination. The snaps allow the diaper to grow with baby, so there are only two sizes for baby's entire diapered life.
Pros: Because it has gusseting around the legs and waist, you have two lines of defense (the diaper and the cover) against blow outs. And because each diaper comes with a doubler (a small rectangle diaper piece that can be snapped inside the diaper), you also have an extra line of defense to soak up urine for night time or heavy wetters.
Cons: Bulky.
Recommended brand: I love Crickett's hemp-cotton blend, which is rated number one on www.DiaperPin.com.
Where to buy: I purchased mine online at www.CrickettsDiapers.com.

All-In-One Diapers

(bumGenius One-size Organic all-in-one diaper is pictured above)
Comments: The cover is built into the diaper, making this a cloth version of the disposable diaper. Some diapers close by snaps, while others close by Velcro. They come in a variety of sizes, depending on baby's size.
Pros: Easy to use. Fairly trim, so fits well into a diaper bag. Because these diapers are just as simple to use as disposables, many cloth diapering mamas use these when leaving their baby with someone who might otherwise be afraid to use cloth diapers.
Cons: Expensive.
Recommended brands: BumGenius has good gusseting, which works well to prevent leaks. It has Velcro closures, which makes the diaper very easy to use. Unfortunately, the inner lining is a man-made material and the Velcro doesn't hold up as well in the wash as snaps would. BumGenius Organic has a natural inner lining, but does not have the same kind of gusseting and so didn't fit snugly on my skinny-legged newborn baby, increasing the likelihood of leaks. Also popular is the Dream-Ez, which has a natural inner lining and snap closures. Unfortunately, it does not have good gusseting for skinny-legged babies either.
Where to buy: I purchased mine online at www.NickisDiapers.com.

Pocket Diapers

(FuzziBunz One-size pocket diaper is pictured above)
Comments: This diaper is a cross between a fitted and an all-in-one. The diaper itself doesn't have anything to soak up urine, but has a "pocket" inside for stuffing. Each diaper typically comes with one pocket insert, but you can purchase extra inserts for night time or heavy wetters. I stuffed mine with two inserts; some moms stuff theirs with folded prefold diapers.
Pros: The diaper can be stuffed with a little or as much as you want to soak up urine.
Cons: Expensive.
Recommended brand: FuzzyBunz is currently rated number two on www.DiaperPin.com, but seems to be the most popular cloth diapering option overall on a variety of mothering forums. I loved them until I realized the inner lining is a man-made material.
Where to buy: I purchased mine online at www.NickisDiapers.com.

Wool Covers

(Aristocrats wool soaker and LoveyBums Wool Crepe covers are pictured above)
Comments: I adore using wool covers with fitted diapers. However, I don't recommend using them with prefold or contour diapers because the covers aren't fitted enough to guarantee a defense against blow-outs.
Pros: Natural material. Breathable. Because wool neutralizes urine, only needs to be washed every one to two weeks (other than spot treating poop leaks).
Cons: Hand wash only. Must re-lanolize every one to two months. (Lanolin is what gives wool its natural water-repellant properties.) Water-repellant, not water-proof, so gets slightly damp after a few uses and needs to be hung to "dry."
Recommended brands: Aristocrats Soakers brand are heavy duty and are my favorite nighttime covers. They come in a shortie and a longie (with legs) style. Although they look bizarre in pictures on their own, they are very cute on baby! LoveyBums brand has a variety of styles, depending on the absorbency desired. Wool Jersey Covers are light weight for daytime use; Wool Crepe Covers and Wool Pull-Up Covers are medium weight for daytime or nighttime use; Wool Interlock Covers are heavy weight for nighttime use. The pull up covers are great for older wigglers because they are easier to use than the snap covers.
Where to buy: I purchased my LoveyBums online at www.LoveyBums.com. I purchased my Aristocrats online at www.NickisDiapers.com.

Polyester Covers

(Thirsties diaper cover and Bummis Super Whisper Wrap diaper cover are pictured above)
Pros: Machine washable and dryable.
Cons: Man-made material.
Recommended brands: Thirsties come in a variety of solid colors and is rated number one on www.DiaperPin.com. I really like mine, especially for use with prefold diapers since they have a small fit. Bummis Super Whisper Wrap comes in a variety of prints and has been rated number two on www.DiaperPin.com, but seem to be the most popular cover on a variety of other mothering forums. I liked mine, especially for use with fitted diapers since they fit a bit larger than the Thirsties. I think the Bummis Velcro holds upbetter in the wash than the Thirsties Velcro. Bummis Super Snap only comes in white and are recommended by Cricketts Diapers. I have not tried them.
Where to buy: I purchased mine online at www. NickisDiapers.com. Bummis Super Snap are also sold at www.CrickettsDiapers.com.

Snappis:


I used a diaper service for my baby's first month, but soon realized a load of diaper laundry each morning would not be as much of a hassle as I thought it would be, especially since my washer/dryer was easily accessible in the kitchen. My initial stash of diapers consisted of Crickett's fitted diapers for everyday use and all-in-one and pocket diapers for my diaper bag. By three and a half months, my stash of diapers consisted of Crickett's fitted diapers for everyday use and Chinese prefold diapers for my diaper bag. Nowdays my diaper stash consists of Crickett's fitted diapers for everything.

Why I Cloth Diaper My Baby

I am often asked why I cloth diaper my baby. Quite simply, I have no desire to wear plastic underwear myself and find it a little selfish to put cloth underwear on my own body but subject my baby to plastic underwear. In short, cloth diapers are surely more comfortable than disposable diapers. That being said, there are a lot of other great reasons to cloth diaper a baby.

Cloth diapering is cheaper than disposable diapering. It costs approximately $2,000 to disposable diaper a child from birth until the time he is potty trained. It costs approximately $1,500 to use a diaper service for the same child. It costs between $300 and $1,000 (depending on the type of diapers used) to cloth diaper, including the cost of electricity and water needed to wash and dry the diapers. And the same cloth diapers can be used by multiple children!

Cloth diapering is better for baby's health than disposable diapering. A baby's skin absorbs at least 48 toxic chemicals from disposable diapers. These harmful chemicals include chlorine, dioxin (which can cause cancer), sodium polyacrylate (which can cause skin and respiratory problems, including asthma), and tribytil-tin (which can cause liver disease and hormonal problems). In fact, polyacrylate was removed from tampons in the 1980s because it increased the risk of toxic shock syndrome. Studies have also linked disposable diapers to urinary tract infections in baby girls.

Cloth diapering is better for the environment than disposable diapering. Diapers are the single most common found item in landfills, and experts estimate it takes 250-500 years for a disposable diaper to decompose. Disposable diaper companies argue that cloth diapers are bad for the environment because of the water and energy needed to wash and dry them. However, disposable diaper manufacturing plants surely use more energy in creating disposable diapers than that used by the combined individual households to wash and dry cloth diapers. Furthermore, parents can minimize environmental concerns by using energy efficient appliances and a front-loading washing machine, and by hanging diapers to dry (or partially drying them in the dryer and finishing them on a clothes line or drying rack). Finally, it is illegal to dispose of human feces in the trash, yet most disposable diapering parents ignore this law and the potential health and environmental dangers it may pose.

Cloth diapering causes less leaks and blow-outs than disposable diapering. My baby has had no more than three blow-outs and half a dozen leaks in the first 14 months of his life. (And four of the leaks were likely caused by his mama not snapping the diaper tight enough.) On the other hand, one of my disposable diapering friends had at least five blow-outs a day during the first few months of her daughter's life.

Cloth diapering creates fewer diaper rashes than disposable diapering. Most diaper rashes are caused by too much urine moisture too close to the skin for too long a period of time. Cloth diapers breathe better than disposable diapers, and cloth diapered babies are changed more often than disposable diapered babies.

Cloth diapered babies potty train earlier than disposable diapered babies. Disposable diapers are designed so the baby cannot feel the wetness caused by their urine. Unlike cloth diapered babies, they don't easily associate urinating with an uncomfortable wet feeling. Cloth diapered babies are potty trained an average of six months before their disposable diapered counterparts.

Cloth diapers are cuter than disposable diapers!





As a side note, washing cloth diapers has turned out to be much less of a hassle than I thought it would be!

Why I Share A Bed With My Baby Part 2

I shared a bed with my baby from the moment he was born, and since that time have heard a lot of alarmist comments on the perceived danger of mamas sleeping with their babies. Every mama I know who has slept with her baby says the same thing: There is no possible way she could roll onto her baby. Fathers, maybe. But mamas, never.

Infant co-sleeping deaths can virtually always be attributed to one of the following unsafe sleep practices:

• An adult in the bed is under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
• An adult in the bed is a smoker.
• An adult in the bed is obese (thus creating a "trough" in the mattress that baby can roll into).
• There is room between the mattress and the wall or furniture that baby can roll into.
• There are blankets or other items on the bed that baby can burrow under.
• Baby is sleeping with an adult on a couch, chair, water bed, or other soft, flexible surface.

It is the sleep environment that can be dangerous, not the co-sleeping. Unfortunately, some state government agencies have decided it is easier to advise against co-sleeping than it is to educate the public on unsafe sleep practices. Thus, co-sleeping is often vilified and unnecessarily termed dangerous. How sad, considering the fact that bed sharing in a safe environment actually decreases the risk of SIDS.

Regardless of where baby sleeps, mama should always take responsibility to ensure the sleep environment is safe. Here are a few safety check items for a co-sleeping mama:

• Make sure there is no space between the mattress and the wall, headboard, footboard, or other piece of furniture that baby can get stuck in. (I always perform the two finger test.)
  
• Make sure the fitted sheet is snug on the mattress and cannot easily be pulled off.
  
• Do not use blankets or comforters. (Receiving blankets are fine.) Instead, keep the room at a comfortable temperature (at least 68 degrees) and dress in layers if needed.
• Keep pillows away from baby's face. Do not place stuffed toys in the bed.
• Do not wear pajamas with strings or long ribbons.
  
• Do not sleep on a water bed, pillow-top mattress, or any other soft, flexible surface.
• Make sure no lamps, cords, electrical items, or drapes are within arms reach of the bed.

My baby started rolling about the time we moved to Colorado. So once we arrived, I placed our mattress directly on the floor (with no box spring). I also bought a Snug Tuck Pillow to prevent any roll-offs during the middle of the night. It was the most reasonably priced product of its kind, and did a great job keeping us both on the mattress while asleep!